About Red Sneaker
My name is Brian.
I was born in Yugoslavia to a couple persuing careers in the bandana industry. Unfortunately, the bandana industry fell on hard time, so my parents moved to the promised land–Belgium.
In Belgium, we started building our future in fabric tips (one of the many lucrative side-businesses in the bandana industry).
Without warning, the bottom fell out of the Belgian bandana industry. So we moved to the united States.
We moved to Schnectady, NY because the zip code was 12345 and my father thought it could come in handy later.
Having a fully-saturated bandana industry in the United States, our future was in question. I was 9 and of legal working age–in some parts of Yugoslavia. So I began persuing a career as a forensic pathologist because I loved “Quincy”.
I found it difficult attaining a position in my chosen field, so I accepted the position of “Organ mopper”, which is the person that cleans up all the mess on the floors after the autopsies.
I worked for approximately 30 seconds before I decided in a career change.
After much research, I decided to seek a position as “Bill Cosby”. Fat Albert was interesting and Bill Cosby’s roll seemed condusive to my career needs.
It turns out that Mr. Cosby was very busy including HBO specials and appearances on “Picture Pages”. I also learned that there were no vacancies for “Bill Cosby” specifically.
Back to the drawingboard.
At age 18, I was a technological genius. I had built solor-powered toasters and toaster-powered calculators. I had a gentleman ask if I would remove the toaster form the equation, but I wouldn’t. Toast is very important.
He went on to build a solar-powered calculator. I knew he would fail!
Eventually in 2001, I founded Red Sneaker. A small company founded on the need for bacon-flavored marshmallows. The Bacon-mallow futures quickly faded, so what was left, turned into a blog (which is short for “Bacon Log”)
I like Bacon.
I like Bill Cosby.
I wear red sneakers.
I lie a lot.
Brian.
