Since relaunching RedSneaker.net, I am already at post 100. So in honor of that, I bring you a list of 100 things about me.
Name:: Brian
Age:: Old
Sex:: Male
Height:: Less than a mile, but more than a thim­ble
Hair Color:: Disap­poin­ted Brown
Eye Color:: Des­ti­tute Blue
Body Type:: Human, with hints of Aldrean
Reli­gion:: Bria­ne­tics
Eth­ni­city:: Ban­da­na­mon­ger
Orien­ta­tion:: N to NW right now. Later I’ll face West
Sta­tus:: Sit­ting
~Favo­ri­tes~
Color?: Radish Pur­ple
Hair Style?: I wish I had the hair of Ste­vie Won­der
Food?: Jello
Soda?: Yes, Please
Sand­wich?: Gri­lled Cheese
Store?: Radio Shack
Mall?: Yes.
State?: Con­fu­sion
City?: One that’s built on Rock and Roll
Ani­mal?: Albino Dal­ma­tions
Movie?: Break­fast Club or Attack of the Killer Toma­toes
TV Show?: Anything with Regis
Book?: Hard­co­vers
Music?: Dys­le­xic Pol­kas
Song?: The Watusi
Band/Artist?: Tiny Tim
Web­site?: www.redsneaker.net — –DUH?

~This or That~
Soda or Juice?: Soda of course
Music or Inter­net?: Inter­net. You can’t find artic­les about your incar­ce­ra­ted High School teachers on a Black Sab­bath album!
Rock or Rap?: I Rock the boat, but I Rap the pre­sents….
Dogs or Cats?: Neither. I pre­fer Cows. They taste bet­ter
White or Black?: Red.
Mys­pace or Face­book?: Friend me on Face­book!
Cell Phone or iPod?: iPod
Curly Hair or Straight Hair?: Straight hair here…
Lap­top or Desk­top?: It’s har­der to drop a desk­top.
Cor­ded Phone or Cord­less?: Cor­ded because I can swing it around by the cord while I pre­tend to be in The Who.
Moun­tain Dew or Pepsi?: Pepsi Throw­back
Pen or Pen­cil?: #2 Ticon­de­roga
MP3 Pla­yer or I-pod?: This isn’t a well-formed ques­tion. I refuse to ans­wer it.
Phone or Inter­net?: Skype?
Sin­gle or Taken?: I am married. I was once taken, but thank­fully, Liam Nee­sen came for me
School or Work?: Work. Fewer tests.
~Ran­dom~
What do you do on your spare time?: Can­ni­ba­lize wagons
What do you wish you had more time for?: My karate and bag­pi­pes
What’s your usual clothing style?: Full-coverage
What’s your usual hair style?: Thin­ning with a touch of middle age.
What are you wea­ring?: A lacey teddy and red stockings….what do you think?
Are you sin­gle or taken?: Ask Liam
If taken, by who?: Ask Liam
Who would you die for?: Ask Liam
Are you a vir­gin?: Ask Liam
What do you think of one night stands?: I pre­fer woo­den ones, but I sup­pose I could get use to one made from arti­fi­cial mate­rials.
Who’s your best friend?: He may be invi­si­ble, but Benny has some good ideas some­ti­mes.
How long have you been friends?: Since that time in Bel­gium….
How did you and your best friend meet?: I was in Bel­gium and couldn’t make a decision….I was a Bel­gian Waf­fler.
Do you have any pets?: Yes
If yes, how many?: 1 dog, 1 cat, and 13 hair lou­ses
Do you plan on get­ting married?: Wasn’t this already asked twice before. I refuse to ans­wer this on the basis of immo­ra­lity and stinky cheese.
Do you plan on having kids?: Ask our 3 kids.
If so, how many?: Ask our 3 kids
How old did you wish you were?: Somewhere bet­ween dia­per ages.
If you were to be anywhere right now, where would you be?: I have to check my calen­dar
Why?: It’s where I keep my appoint­ments.
Ever gone Cam­ping?: I have par­ti­ci­pa­ted in rec­rea­tio­nal Home­less­ness before.
Have you ever caught a fish and ate it?: No. That’s cruel
Have you ever gone water skiing?: No. That’s cruel
Have you ever gone water tubing?: I’ve drank through a straw before. Does that count?
Have you ever gone skiing on a moun­tain?: Nope. It’s against my reli­gion
Have you ever gone tubing on a moun­tain?: That’s get­ting a little per­so­nal now, isn’t it?
Have you ever gone Snow­boar­ding?: No, but water­boar­ding, yes.
Ever gone to church?: http://www.brianetics.info
Ever gone to a famous water park?: Nope. Just the infa­mous ones.
Ever gone out of State?: Only after notif­ying the court.
Ever gone out of the country?: Only with per­mis­sion from my parole offi­cer
When was the last time you left town?: This mor­ning
Anything you got plan­ned for this wee­kend?: I try not to plan. It seems to get in the way of stuff hap­pe­ning.
If so, what?: Hard to say, but I’m sure it may involve some sort of “tubing”
Is this sur­vey curing your bore­dom?: This is tur­ning into a pretty lame 100th pos­ting
Do you resem­ble anyone famous?: Is Pee Wee Her­man famous?
Are you rela­ted to anyone famous?: Is Pee Wee Her­man famous?
If so, who?:
Do you think you are hot?: It’s sup­pose to be 100 today, so maybe
Do other peo­ple think you are hot?: The sweat rings should give me away.
Do you think your skinny?: I have to say this now. “Your” is not the con­trac­tion for “You Are”. “You’re” is. Please fix your ques­tions.
Or do you think your fat?: That’s it. I refuse to ans­wer any more unless you correct your word usage.
Or just in bet­ween fat and skinny?: I am the pos­ter boy for “Big Dull and Dumpy” maga­zine.
What year were you born in?: I don’t remem­ber. I was just a baby.
Ever been on a blind date?: No, but one was really ugly.
What do you enjoy doing when you’re bored?: “tubing” and correc­ting people’s gram­mar
What do you do in the sum­mer time?: Why do you ask? Are you plan­ning on rob­bing my house?
Are you natu­rally tan­ned?: No. But once they skin me, I should make a nice saddle.
Or are you kinda pale?: Is the Pope “Kinda” reli­gious?
Do you live in a house?: Glass house.
Or do you live in a apart­ment?: Are you deaf?
What do you have on your mind?: How our edu­ca­tio­nal sys­tem con­ti­nues to fail in teaching pro­per usage of YOUR and YOU’RE.
What time is it?: Tubing time!

Brian “Hoping for a bet­ter 100″ Matthews

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