7.  Ugly Betty has been can­ce­lled but Ugly Tay­lor Swift is still on the air.

6.  The Bran­ge­lina Mons­ter is dying.

5.  Keith Richards shed his man­gled shell and emer­ged a beau­ti­ful butterfly.

4.  America’s Cou­gar Strike Force isn’t strong enough to beat off, I mean fight off the tee­nage aliens.

3.  Without Oprah’s bookc­lub, the Earth is doomed.

2.  James Came­ron is already making a movie about it which will star a computer-animated Gary Cole­man as one of the four-horsemen.

1.  The Antich­rist, Dakota Fan­ning, turns 18 in 2 years.

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