Q: What makes you laugh?  

A: Nitrous Oxide

Q: What about you would most peo­ple find surprising?     

A: I hate balloons.
                     

Q: What accom­plish­ments are you most proud of?    

A: I want to live fore­ver.  So far so good.

Q: If you had one super­po­wer, what would it be? 

A: The abi­lity to cause doubt.  Villains are far less effec­tive if they doubt their abi­li­ties or even the need to take over the entire world.  Howe­ver, if I got to pick super hero names, here’s my  top 7 list:

7. Alu­mi­num Foil­Man and his side­kick Zippy­lock
6. Super Burt Rey­nolds
5. Dic­tion­wo­man
4. Unmo­ti­va­ted boy
3. Clea­ning lady
2. Bun­gee Cord and his part­ner, Flap­Jack
1. Abe Vigoda in tights

Q: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?   

A: At home.  That’s a silly ques­tion.                  

Q: Do you have any hob­bies? If so, what are they?     

A:  I have no hob­bies, but I do have seve­ral serious fas­ci­na­tions.                  

Q: How do you relieve stress?   

A: Xanex.                     

Q: If you could enter a racehorse in the Ken­tucky Derby, what would you name your horse and why?        

A: I will ans­wer this in the form of Haiku

Ken­tucky Derby

Sure to win the main event

A horse:  “With No Name”

Q: What do you always “put off for another day?”    

A: Proc­ras­ti­na­tion.                    

Q: What was the last movie you saw in the thea­ter? Would you recom­mend it to others?   

A: I have no reco­llec­tion of what the movie was, who was in it or even a sli­ver of plot.  I would recom­mend it highly.                                                        

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Not fami­liar with the Girl Scout Coo­kie varie­ties?  Here’s the Down Low:

• Thin Mints: Thin, mint-flavored cho­co­late wafers dip­ped in a cho­co­late coa­ting. Also known as Smack, Crack, The Bea­vis But­terfly, or Mommy’s Spe­cial Medicine.
• Pea­nut But­ter Sandwiches/Do-si-dos: Pea­nut but­ter filling sand­wiched bet­ween crunchy oat­meal coo­kies. AKA the coo­kie for Oreo Addicts who branch out this once a year.
• Pea­nut But­ter Patties/Tagalongs: Crispy vani­lla coo­kies laye­red with pea­nut but­ter and cove­red with a cho­co­late coa­ting.  The soft pea­nut but­ter is either hea­ven or just too much pea­nut­but­ter for some less deser­ving peo­ple.  Suck it up and deal with the peanutbutter!

• Shortbreads/Trefoils: A tra­di­tio­nal short­bread coo­kie made in the shape of the Girl Scout tre­foil logo.  This is the “I’m on a Diet” girl Scout cookie. 
• Cara­mel DeLites/Samoas: Vani­lla coo­kies coa­ted in cara­mel, sprin­kled with toas­ted coco­nut and laced with cho­co­late stri­pes. These are the ones that seem to vanish first.  These are also the ones I can eat an entire box of in one sit­ting.  I am fairly sure these coo­kies have been ban­ned in 12 coun­tries due to their addic­tive qualities.
• All Abouts/Animal Treasures/Thanks-A-Lot: : Short­bread coo­kies dip­ped in fudge and top­ped with an embos­sed thank-you mes­sage in one of five lan­gua­ges, inc­lu­ding English, Spa­nish, French, Chi­nese, and Swahili. These are the coo­kies you give the grand kids.
• Cinna-spins Intro­du­ced in 2008, Cinna-spins are cinnamon-flavored coo­kies that come in 100-calorie packs. Cinna-spins are sha­ped like minia­ture cin­na­mon rolls. Reti­red and repla­ced by Daisy Go Rounds.
• Daisy Go Rounds: Very simi­lar to Cinna-spins, this coo­kie repla­ced them for the 2009–2010  sale. They are adver­ti­sed as low fat and also come in 100 calo­rie packs. They are cin­na­mon fla­vo­red and sha­ped like daisies.
• Lemo­na­des Round short­bread coo­kie with lemon icing. Some­ti­mes refe­rred to as “Sour Mon­kies” or “Vir­gi­nia Lemon Crack”.

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