Archive for February, 2010Today in History:In 1982, the Final episode of “The Lawrence Welk Show” airedThursday, February 25th, 2010Today in History — Elton John KnightedWednesday, February 24th, 2010Today in History — Pinocchio is releasedTuesday, February 23rd, 2010Today in History….in 1992 Ed McMahon, 69, weds Pamela Hurn, 37Monday, February 22nd, 2010Today in History…..in 1985 Canned & bottled Cherry Coke was introduced by Coca-Cola.Friday, February 19th, 2010Today in History…..in 1985 Canned & bottled Cherry Coke was introduced by Coca-Cola. To celebrate this fizzy goodness that many folks gave up for lent, I submit these for the day’s playlist: “Pop Music” – M “Lust for Life” – Iggy Pop “Pork Soda”- Primus “Poprocks and Coke” – Green Day “Cherry Cola” – Savage Garden Today in History — Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee wedThursday, February 18th, 2010Today in history….. in 1995 Pamela Anderson (Baywatch) & Tommy Lee (Motley Crüe) wed. To celebrate this match made for the ages, here’s today’s playlist: You Give Love a Bad Name – Bon Jovi No Rain by Blind Melon(s) Video Killed the Radio Star – The Presidents of the United States of America I’m on a Boat – Lonely Island Top 5 ways you know winter has over stayed its welcomeMonday, February 15th, 20105. Even Grandma is shoveling the walk in shorts and sandals 4. People get angry when you put ice in their sodas 3. All your friends can identify you by your parka and the way you walk with your head hanging in depression. 2. Tearcicles everywhere! 1. Even the weatherman swears during the forecast. Basketball … and sports?Saturday, February 13th, 2010We are not a sporty family. We don’t have a team, we don’t have jerseys, we don’t have conversations about famous athletes. But the olympics are an exception. We watched the opening ceremony with all the malfunctions and sentences inflected with French words and phrases. Now today I am sitting on the world’s hardest bleachers while Sabrina attends a Basketball camp. VDFriday, February 12th, 2010Valentine’s day is around the corner…well actually it’s directly in front of us if time is indeed linear. I suppose that one could argue against that, but for now let’s just say that it’s starring us down like a spoiled 2nd grader in line to see the real santa claus. What was I saying again? Oh yes…Happy Lupercalia. Spaghetaboutits and other unusual business namesWednesday, February 10th, 2010The other night, a sitcom used a restaurant name “Spaghetaboutit”. I started thinking if there are other business names. This is what I’ve come up with:
A Disco/Hamburger joint—-the Hamboogie A Micro Brewery/ CD store—The Beer Canal Marital Aid / Tropical fish store – Gilldo’s Liquor Store / Mystery Dinner Theater—Booze Clues A Quick Copy and Office Supply store – The Copy and Paste Snow BlowerMonday, February 8th, 2010Super BowlyMonday, February 8th, 2010I did not watch the Bowl of Superness. I have NEVER watched the Holiest of Bowlies. I don’t hate football, I just cannot wrap my mind around it. Maybe the game is just too complicated for me. It’s OK if people are “Down”, you can say the words “tight end” and you don’t get a funny look, and I just realized that sometimes they are saying “Quarterback” and sometimes they are saying “Cornerback”. How confusing. I really think that the Super Bowl was created by the soda, chips and dip companies to make tons of money! This is their Christmas! Maybe they should change the name to “The Dip Bowl”. Questions and Answers about me!Tuesday, February 2nd, 2010Q: What makes you laugh? A: Nitrous Oxide Q: What about you would most people find surprising? A: I hate balloons. Q: What accomplishments are you most proud of? A: I want to live forever. So far so good. Q: If you had one superpower, what would it be? A: The ability to cause doubt. Villains are far less effective if they doubt their abilities or even the need to take over the entire world. However, if I got to pick super hero names, here’s my top 7 list: 7. Aluminum FoilMan and his sidekick Zippylock
Q: If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? A: At home. That’s a silly question.
Q: Do you have any hobbies? If so, what are they? A: I have no hobbies, but I do have several serious fascinations.
Q: How do you relieve stress? A: Xanex.
A: I will answer this in the form of Haiku Kentucky Derby Sure to win the main event A horse: “With No Name”
Q: What do you always “put off for another day?” A: Procrastination. Q: What was the last movie you saw in the theater? Would you recommend it to others? A: I have no recollection of what the movie was, who was in it or even a sliver of plot. I would recommend it highly. Kinds of Girl Scout CookiesTuesday, February 2nd, 2010Not familiar with the Girl Scout Cookie varieties? Here’s the Down Low:
E-mail hatemail@redsneaker.net Girl Scout Cookie SalesMonday, February 1st, 2010T-Minus 1 Week and a handful of days left in the Girl Scout Cookie Sales! This means I will be wearing down the soles of my sneakers traipsing around door to door pedaling sweets! Here’s how the sale usually goes. I knock, because when the girls knock, the mittens muffle the noise. Someone might answer the door. If they do, one of the girls will greet them “Hi, my name is Annie. Would you buy Girl Scout Cookies?” The person answering the door drools just a little and then buys enough cookies to not look too gluttony. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Things to NOT say while trying to sell Girl Scout Cookies: -“My name is Rachael, but I was born as ‘Mark’”. -“By the looks of it, you must have a stash of cookies somewhere.” -*sniff sniff* “What’s that smell? Money?” -“Let me guess—Just leave the cases of cookies by the back door, ring the doorbell and run?” -“These cookies are made from the Girl Scouts who don’t sell enough—Please help me!” |
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