Today in 1974 Muham­mad Ali KOs George Fore­man in 8th round in Kinshasa, Zaire—The Rum­ble in the Jun­gle.  So to cele­brate minor con­tu­sions and con­cus­sions, here’s today’s playlist:

Jun­gle Boo­gie – Kool & the Gang

Jun­gle Love – Steve Miller Band

Satur­day Night’s Alright for Figh­ting – Elton John

Disco Inferno – The Trammps (Burn baby burn for the George Fore­man grill)

Mama said Knock you out – L.L. Cool J or Scatterbrain

Africa — Toto

Today in 1982, Car maker John DeLo­rean was indic­ted for drug traf­fic­king, and was later acquit­ted.  To cele­brate, here’s today’s playlist:

Back in Time – Huey Lewis and the News

Mr. Browns­tone – GnR

Cocaine -  Eric Clapton

Because I got High – Afroman

Cars – Gary Newman

Wheels – Foo Fighters

10.  The Used Tis­sue Museum.

9.  Groups of peo­ple in con­fi­ned spa­ces, like prison.

8.  “Sneezy” the clown.

7.  Sha­king hands with a class­room of stuffed-up 1^st graders.

6.  Paris Hilton—who knows where she’s been?

5.  Hos­pi­tals where they “Pray the Sick Away”.

4.  Doork­nobs with a visi­ble crust layer.

3. Den­tists that Spit-clean their instruments.

2.  Swine Flu Enthusiasts.

1.  Hoo­kers with a whee­zing cough.

Brian “H1N1” Matthews

Today in 1929, the  1st child born in an airc­raft in Miami, Fl.  Unfor­tu­na­tely, you’ve already pla­yed Slaughter’s Fly to the Angels, so we will try to cele­brate with some other songs.

Aero­plane – Red Hot Chili Peppers

Pride and Joy – Mar­vin Gaye

Love Shack by the B-52s

Eight Miles High – The Byrds

Ben­nie and the Jets – Elton John

Fly like an Eagle – Steve Miller Band

Today in 1982 China announ­ces its popu­la­tion at 1 billion peo­ple plus.  So, to say “Hey” to all those peo­ple, I would like to offer today’s playlist:

“China Girl” – David Bowie

“Tur­ning Japa­nese” – the Vapors

“Every­body Hurts” – REM

“Another Brick in the Wall (Part 2)” – Pink Floyd

“Kung Fu Figh­ting” – Carl Douglas

“Chi­nese Democ­racy” Guns n Roses

“Love Is In The Air” — John Paul Young

At a relative’s con­fir­ma­tion this wee­kend, the pas­tor was tal­king about “Jesus and the Jews”.  A todd­ler behind us then says to his parents, “I want some juice too!”

Today in 1988 US-Soviet effort free 2 grey wha­les from fro­zen Arc­tic, Barrow, AK.  To remem­ber those tense hours and days, here’s some songs:

“Hobo Hum­pin’ Slobo Babe” – Whale

“Hold On” – Wil­son Phillips

“The Twist” – The Fat Boys

“ Blub­ber Boy”- Regur­gi­ta­tor

“Ice Ice Baby” – Vani­lla Ice

“Chi­llin” – Wale (fea­tu­ring Lady Gaga)

“Spies Like Us” – Paul McCartney

1.  You can tell a woman you love her bathing suit and mean her bathing suit.

2. You can have naked pic­tu­res of men you know in your home.

3. You can have naked pic­tu­res of men you don’t know in your home.

4. You know the dif­fe­rence bet­ween a latte, cap­puc­cino, cafe au lait and a macchiato. And if you don’t, you know how to fake it.

5. You are, hands down, your nephew’s and nie­ces’ favo­rite uncle.

6. You wouldn’t be caught dead in Hooters.

7. You’ve read the book, seen the movie, done the musical.

8. You are the only one at the class reu­nion who looks bet­ter than you did in high school.

9. You choose the most fabu­lous gree­ting cards.

10. You know every film ever made with male fron­tal nudity.

10. The cucum­ber has left the salad.

9. Someone tore down the wall, and your Pink Floyd is han­ging out.

8. You’ve got Win­dows on your laptop.

7. Sai­lor Ned’s trying to take a little shore leave.

6. Qua­si­modo needs to go back in the tower and tend to his bells.

5. Your pod bay door is open, Hal.

4. Elvis Junior has LEFT the building!

3. The Buick is not all the way in the garage.

2. You’ve got a secu­rity breach at Los Pantalones.

1. Men are From Mars, I Can See Your Penis.

Today in 1973 Nixon agrees to turn over White House tape recor­dings to Judge Sirica.  To cele­brate this weird thing to cele­brate, here’s the list:

Liar– Rollins Band

It’s Tricky – Run DMC

You Spin me Round (Like a Record) – Dead or Alive

Gyp­sies, Tramps and Thie­ves – Cher

Read Bet­ween the Lines — Aaliyah

10. Could our rela­tionship be more phy­si­cal? I’m tired of just being friends
9. Go ahead and leave the seat up.
8. I think hairy butts are really sexy
7. Hey, get a whiff of that one
6. Please don’t throw that old t-shirt away, the holes in the arm­pit are just too cute
5. This dia­mond is way too big
4. I don’t care what you are thin­king; just let me stroke your back hair.
3. Wow, it really is 14 inches!  (Tal­king about your Crafts­men tape mea­sure, of course)
2. Does this make my butt look too small?
1. I’m wrong, you must be right again

10. In the middle of smo­king a ciga­rette, you pause for a “ciga­rette break”

9. Your birth­day is a state holi­day in North Carolina

8. Your title for the Sur­geon Gene­ral: “Cap­tain Bring-down”

7. Crac­king your knuc­kles lea­ves you winded

6. Mor­ning sche­dule: Wake up, cough for three hours, take nap

5. In your neigh­borhood, they give direc­tions by saying, “Go down to the big pile of ciga­rette butts…”

4. You get mat­tress fires more often than haircuts

3. You smoke during sex.

2. You refer to nons­mo­kers as “pink-lunged sissy boys”

1. You explain to the nurse that you didn’t rea­lize you were in a “nons­mo­king” iron lung

On this day in 4004 BC, accor­ding to the Angli­can arch­bishop James Ussher in 1650, the Uni­verse was crea­ted at pre­ci­sely 8:00pm. Good to know that the uni­verse was punctual.

So in cele­bra­tion of the crea­tion of mat­ter, here’s today’s playlist:

–Theme song to The Big Bang Theory – The Bare­na­ked Ladies

- God Smack – Alice in Chains

- Ain’t no sunshine — Bill Withers

- Magic – Pilot

- One Thing Leads to Another-the Fixx

- Against All Odds– Phil Collins

- Kick Start My Heart– Mot­ley Crue

- Heat of the Moment– Asia

- Living on a Pra­yer– Bon Jovi

1. You Are Dif­fe­rent and That’s Bad

2. The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables

3. Dad’s New Wife Robert

4. Fun four-letter Words to Know and Share

5. Ham­mers, Screw­dri­vers and Scis­sors: An I-Can-Do-It Book

6. The Kids’ Guide to Hitchhiking

7. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stop­ped Loving Her

8. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence

9. All Cats Go to Hell

10. The Little Sissy Who Snitched

11. Some Kit­tens Can Fly

12. That’s it, I’m Put­ting You Up for Adoption

13. Grandpa Gets a Casket

14. The Magic World Inside the Aban­do­ned Refrigerator

15. Gar­field Gets Feline Leukemia

16. The Pop-Up Book of Human Anatomy

17. Stran­gers Have the Best Candy

18. Whi­ning, Kic­king and Crying to Get Your Way

19. You Were an Accident

20. Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will

21. Pop! Goes The Hamster…And Other Great Mic­ro­wave Games

22. The Man in the Moon Is Actually Satan

23. Your Night­ma­res Are Real

24. Where Would You Like to Be Buried?

25. Eggs, Toi­let Paper, and Your School

26. Why Can’t Mr. Fork and Ms. Elec­tri­cal Out­let Be Friends?

27. Pla­ces Where Mommy and Daddy Hide Neat Things

28. Daddy Drinks Because You Cry

Today in 1861 was the Battle of Balls Bluff, Va.  I didn’t name the battle, I just report it.  So to com­me­mo­rate this his­to­ric event, I offer a list of songs:

–WAR!  — Edwin Starr

- Balls to the Walls – Accept   (edi­to­rial note:  Udo Rules!)

- Nutc­rac­ker Ballet – Tchaikovsky

- Slip Sli­din’ Away – Paul Simon

-  Han­gin’ Tough – New Kids on the Block

10.  Dinosauroid-like Alien Rep­ti­les are domi­na­ting the World

Chris­tine Fitz­ge­rald, a con­fi­dante of Diana, Prin­cess of Wales, claims that Diana told her that the Royal Family were Rep­ti­lian aliens, and that they could shapeshift.

David Icke’s –BBC repor­ter– claims that huma­nity is actually under the con­trol of dinosauroid-like alien rep­ti­les who must con­sume human blood to main­tain their human appearance.

“Evi­dence” goes from Sume­rian tablets desc­ri­bing the “Anun­naki” (which he trans­la­tes as “those who from hea­ven to earth came”), to the ser­pent in the Bibli­cal Gar­den of Eden, to child abuse, fluo­ri­da­tion, and the genea­lo­gi­cal con­nec­tions bet­ween the Bush family and the House of Windsor.

Icke theo­ri­zes that the rep­ti­lians came here from the cons­te­lla­tion Draco. Like most cons­pi­racy theo­ries, fal­si­fi­ca­tion of Icke’s hypothe­ses is nearly impos­si­ble, but Icke con­ti­nues to sell books and give spea­king enga­ge­ments based on con­cepts ran­ging from the New Age to his poli­ti­cal opinions.

 

 

9.  Apo­llo 11 Moon Lan­dings were faked by NASA

Pro­po­nents of the Apo­llo moon lan­ding hoax accu­sa­tions allege that the Apo­llo Moon Lan­dings never took place, and were faked by NASA with pos­si­ble CIA sup­port. Enthu­siasts of this theory claim that:

The astro­nauts could not have sur­vi­ved the trip because of expo­sure to radiation

The pho­tos were alte­red: the Crosshairs on some pho­tos appear to be behind objects, rather than in front of them where they should be

The qua­lity of the pho­to­graphs is implau­sibly high.

There are no stars in any of the pho­tos, and astro­nauts never report seeing any stars from the cap­sule windows.

Iden­ti­cal back­grounds in pho­tos that are lis­ted as taken miles apart.

The moon’s sur­face during the day­time is so hot that camera film would have melted.

No blast cra­ter appea­red from the landing

The launch roc­ket pro­du­ced no visi­ble flame.

The flag pla­ced on the sur­face by the astro­nauts flap­ped des­pite there being no wind on the Moon.

 

 

 

8.  Sep­tem­ber 11 was orches­tra­ted by the U. S. government

A num­ber of urban myths, alter­na­tive hypothe­ses and cons­pi­racy theo­ries have been for­mu­la­ted to explain the events of Sep­tem­ber 11th

The U.S., Israel or Iraq govern­ment orches­tra­ted the attacks themselves.

The Twin Towers fell straight down, at close to free-fall speed. This is a simi­lar cha­rac­te­ris­tic of a con­tro­lled demo­li­tion. The dust cloud and its make up are con­si­de­red un-characteristic of a gravity-driven collapse.

It is often poin­ted out that no steel buil­ding before or since the 9–11 attack has collap­sed as the result of fire.

The rub­ble of the Twin Towers smol­de­red for weeks after the collapse. This claim is meant to point out that steel could only have smol­de­red as a result of pre-placed explosives.

Some con­si­der pho­to­graphic evi­dence of the plane lying on the grounds of the Pen­ta­gon to be ambi­guous and uncon­vin­cing, citing a visual lack of burnt metal, human remains, passenger’s lug­gage or seats.

The Pen­ta­gon was struck in a newly reno­va­ted, rein­for­ced sec­tion. Some spe­cu­late this loca­tion, the west side of the com­plex, to be indi­ca­tive of govern­ment invol­ve­ment, noting it as an attempt to reduce casualties.

Flight 77 was able to fly in the direc­tion of the DC and Pen­ta­gon area for appro­xi­ma­tely 40 minu­tes without inter­cep­tion. This is thought to be unu­sual given the Pentagon’s close pro­xi­mity to Andrews Air Force Base.

There are claims that anti-missile bat­te­ries at the Pen­ta­gon should have inter­cep­ted Flight 77.

The FBI con­fis­ca­ted a video, which may have cap­tu­red the impact, from a nearby gas sta­tion atten­ded by Jose Velas­quez. This video has not yet been released.

 

7.  Bar­co­des are really inten­ded to Con­trol people

Some cons­pi­racy theo­rists have pro­po­sed that bar­co­des are really inten­ded to serve as means of con­trol by a puta­tive world govern­ment, or that they are Sata­nic in intent.

Mary Ste­wart Relfe claims in “The New Money Sys­tem 666″ that bar­co­des sec­retly encode the num­ber 666 — the Bibli­cal “Num­ber of the Beast”.

This theory has been adop­ted by other fringe figu­res such as the “oracle” Sollog, who refu­ses to label any of his books with bar­co­des on the grounds that “any type of com­pu­ter num­be­ring sys­tems MANDATED by any govern­ment or busi­ness is part of the PROPHECY of the BEAST con­tro­lling you.”

 

6.  Char­le­magne never exis­ted, is a fic­tio­nal character

Phan­tom time hypothe­sis is a theory deve­lo­ped by Heri­bert Illig which sug­gests that the Early Middle Ages (614–911 CE) never occu­rred, mea­ning that all arti­facts attri­bu­ted to this time period were from other times, and all his­to­ri­cal figu­res were outright fabrications.

One con­se­quence of Illig’s hypothe­sis is that Char­le­magne never exis­ted but is a fic­tio­nal cha­rac­ter. The vast majo­rity of his­to­rians believe this theory to be com­plete fic­tion, as all cited evi­dence can be con­si­de­red circumstantial.

 

5.  The Truth is out there, on Area 51

The sec­re­tive nature of Area 51 and undoub­ted con­nec­tion to clas­si­fied airc­raft research, together with reports of unu­sual phe­no­mena, have led Area 51 to become a cen­ter­piece of modern UFO and cons­pi­racy theory fol­klore. Some of the uncon­ven­tio­nal acti­vi­ties clai­med to be under­way at Area 51 include:

The sto­rage, exa­mi­na­tion, and reverse engi­nee­ring of crashed alien spa­cec­raft (inc­lu­ding mate­rial sup­po­sedly reco­ve­red at Ros­well), the study of their occu­pants (living and dead), and the manu­fac­ture of airc­raft based on alien technology.

Mee­tings or joint under­ta­kings with extraterrestrials.

The deve­lop­ment of exo­tic energy wea­pons (for SDI appli­ca­tions or other­wise) or means of weather control.

Acti­vi­ties rela­ted to a sup­po­sed sha­dowy world government.

 

 

4.   Mic­ro­soft sends mes­sa­ges on Wing­dings Font

The Wing­dings Font inc­lu­ded with Win­dows has a his­tory of con­tro­versy. In 1992, only days after the release of Win­dows 3.1, it was dis­co­ve­red that the cha­rac­ter sequence “NYC” in Wing­dings was ren­de­red as Skull and cross­bo­nes sym­bol, Star of David, and thumbs up ges­ture. This could be inter­pre­ted as a mes­sage of appro­val of killing Jews, espe­cially those from New York City.

Mic­ro­soft strongly denied this was inten­tio­nal, and insis­ted that the final arran­ge­ment of the glyphs in the font was lar­gely ran­dom. Various other com­bi­na­tions of Win­gings cha­rac­ters are alle­ged to have spe­cial sig­ni­fi­cance by cons­pi­racy theo­rists, but these results are likely purely coincidental.

 

3.  U.S. mili­tary cau­sed the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami

Popu­lar Arab news ser­vi­ces claim the U.S. and Indian mili­ta­ries deli­be­ra­tely cau­sed the Indian Ocean tsu­na­mis with elec­tro­mag­ne­tic pulse technology.

Another type of theory bases its claims on oil and gas inte­rests. Others also rea­son that the tech­no­logy is at least fea­si­ble if not highly pro­ba­ble since research into such tech­no­logy has been con­duc­ted by the mili­tary as far back as World War II.

 

2.  The Nazis had a Moon Base

Eso­te­ric Hit­le­rists and cons­pi­racy theo­rists inte­res­ted in Nazi mys­ti­cism and World War II have spe­cu­la­ted that the Ger­mans lan­ded on the Moon as early as 1942.

Accor­ding to other theo­ries it is belie­ved that the Nazis had made con­tact with ‘half a dozen’ alien races, inc­lu­ding the male­vo­lent Reptilians

 

1. Ken­tucky Fried Chic­ken makes black men impotent

It is some­ti­mes clai­med that the Ken­tucky Fried Chic­ken franchise is owned by the Ku Klux Klan, and the chic­ken is laced with a drug that makes only black men impotent.

Iro­ni­cally, the KFC franchise is actually owned by an African-American.