China ban­ned the pig­tail in 1911 as it was seen as a sym­bol of feu­da­lism. Later they con­si­de­red ban­ning the mut­tonchops as a sign of free­dom to look dorky.

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I would, but….

1. I am eating dough­nuts.
2. I have a “No Hobos” policy.
3. I’m at a cross­roads.
4. I pro­mi­sed my neigh­bor I would polli­nate his lawn tonight.
5. I’m atten­ding your inter­ven­tion.
6. I can’t leave the house without my kee­per.
7. I sense a dis­tur­bance in the Force.
8. someone left their effluence all over my rug.
9. I think I broke my kum­quat.
10. it’s my parole officer’s poker night.

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“A man is never more truth­ful than when he ack­now­led­ges him­self a liar.”
“A per­son who won’t read has no advan­tage over one who can’t read.”
“All right, then, I’ll go to hell.”
“Buy land, they’re not making it any­more.”
“Ciga­ret­tes, I won’t do ciga­ret­tes, nico­tine will kill ya.”

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I wear a nec­klace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.
–Mitch Hedberg

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