A South Afri­can mon­key was once awar­ded a medal and pro­mo­ted to the rank of cor­po­ral during World War I. At least that’s what he told his buddies.

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I would like a video game that allows you to pick peo­ple you would like to shoot at. For ins­tance: Roa­ming the cyber streets and Lind­sey Lohan stum­bles out. Aim the roc­ket launcher and watch her pie­ces land on neigh­bo­ring cars. Maybe turn the cor­ner and see Joan Rivers only to meet her with a chain­gun firing off 300 rounds a second. So, game maker people’s, make that game for me.
Thank you.

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“A study in the Washing­ton Post says that women have bet­ter ver­bal skills
than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.“
–Conan O’Brien

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