Archive for August 4th, 2009

A Cure for Baldness?

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Hip­poc­ra­tes, the father of medi­cine, had a cure for bald­ness.
Smea­ring pigeon poop on the scalp.
This star­ted the long-held tra­di­tion of bald guys put­ting any kind of crap on their heads.
(insert rimshot here)

Thank you! Tip your waitresses!

4 quotes from Friedrich Nietzsche, existentialist and postmodernist, and 1 quote from Eric Cartman, big-boned.

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

“A good wri­ter pos­ses­ses not only his own spi­rit but also the spi­rit of his friends.”
“And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”
“Art is the pro­per task of life.”
“Faith: not wan­ting to know what is true.”
“It’s an Afgha­nis­tan goat, so it can’t stay here, or else it’ll choke on the sweet air of freedom.”

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Physics is yummy!

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

I am going to start a small res­tau­rant based on phy­sics.
I think I’ll name it “The Large Ham­Sand­wich Colli­der”
The menu will inc­lude:
MayHam sand­wich with a little chaos-sauce.
Gamma Salad Sand­wich
BLA-Bacon, Let­tuce, and Atom-ato
Cream of Corio­lis Effect soup
Rela­ti­vity Reu­ben Sand­wich
Eins­tein Bur­ger
Dark Mat­ter Den­ver Sand­wich
Fur­long Hot­dogs
Fis­sion­wich
Maybe a side of van de Graaf­fries to go with that Eins­tein Burger?

Brian “Fis­sio­nary” Matthews

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