Archive for the ‘Melt your face off’ Category

Top 10 Bad Rapper Names

Friday, September 10th, 2010

10.  DJ JD

9.  Every­body­LuvsRhy­mond

8.  Lar­gey Tiny Nose

7.  Flip­per the Potholder

6.  Slushee The White Kid

5.  Chris­tine The Deadly Doppelganger

4.  DJ Leslie

3.  Wrin­kle Lee 4 Hed

2.  Mean Dead Money

1.  Carol

Top 8 Scout Badges you should never earn

Thursday, September 9th, 2010

8.  Zoo Sni­per Badge

7.  Make Grandma Puke Badge

6.  Grand Theft Auto Badge

5.  Tou­ring with the Black Cro­wes Badge

4.  Bleach as a Beve­rage Badge

3.  Snare your Little Sis­ter Badge

2.  “Is This Infec­ted” Badge

1.  The Lind­say Lohan Badge

Top 10 ways to know if your teacher is totally nuts

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Top 10 ways to know if your teacher is totally nuts:

10.  On the first day of school, he tells you to sit in order of IQ highest to lowest.

9.  He eats only apples and gets cranky when you don’t bring him one.

8.  He spent all sum­mer whitt­ling you desks.

7.  The cra­yons are mis­sing and his lips are multicolored.

6.  Your first assign­ment is to put a first gra­der in a slee­per hold.

5.  He’s bare­foot and hop­ped up on dry erase markers.

4.  He insists you call him “Star­bright, the Ethe­real Falcon”.

3.  He com­mu­ni­ca­tes through a series of clicks and whistles.

2.  “The Pledge of Alle­giance” sounds more like “Mary Had a Little Lamb”.

1.  He has clai­med the lunch­room by uri­na­ting in the corners.

Today in History — Blondie

Wednesday, September 8th, 2010

Today in 1930  was the 1st appea­rance of the comic strip “Blon­die”.  To cele­brate Dagwood’s bet­ter half, here’s today’s playlist:

Sui­cide Blonde – INXS

Rap­ture – Blondie

What’s Up – 4 Non Blondes

Super­na­tu­ral Blonde – Mar­ve­lous 3

Pla­ti­num Blonde – No Doubt

Just like a Woman – Bob Dylan (From Blonde on Blonde)

Today in History — Today Never Happened!

Friday, September 3rd, 2010

Today in 1752 –This day never hap­pe­ned nor the next 10 as England adopts the Gre­go­rian Calen­dar. Peo­ple riot thin­king the govern­ment stole 11 days of their lives.

To cele­brate this mis­pla­ce­ment of days here’s today’s iPod playlist:

Eight days a Week – The Beatles

Tuesday’s Gone – Lynrd Skynrd

One Week – Bare­na­ked Ladies

Where have all the good times gone?  — The Kinks

Been Caught Stea­lin’ Jane’s Addiction

Today in History — Carry a Big Stick

Thursday, September 2nd, 2010

Today in 1901 VP Theo­dore Roo­se­velt advi­ses, “Speak softly & carry a big stick”.  To cele­brate this famous quote about big sticks, here’s today’s play­list for your iPod:

Big Balls – AC/DC

Big Me – Foo Fighters

Mr. Big Stuff – Jean Knight

Can’t Beat it with a Stick – Jackyl

My Ding-a-ling – Chuck Berry

Sled­geham­mer – Peter Gabriel

Mons­ter–  Fred Schneider

Big ten Inch record – Aerosmith

Today in History — Speedometer

Wednesday, September 1st, 2010

Today in 1982, the  maxi­mum spee­do­me­ter rea­ding was man­da­ted at 85 MPH.  To cele­brate spee­ding into a new era, here’s today’s playlist:

Speed Racer Theme Song

Speed King – Deep Purple

The Dis­tance – Cake

High­way to Hell – AC/DC

Life in the Fast Lane – The Eagles

Red Wild Show Playlist for the week of August 30th

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

Here’s the play­list com­me­mo­ra­ting the birth of the US Cen­sus Bureau

* Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Seven nation Army

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT5eJwgAtvY

 * Seven Faces – Cali­for­nia Dreamin

http://sevenfacesmusic.com/bandbio.html

My Hero Zero– The Lemonheads

Three is a Magic Num­ber — Blind Melon

http://www.amazon.com/Schoolhouse-Rock-Rocks-Various-Artists/dp/B000005J80/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1282936279&sr=8–1

 Six words long– Weird Al

http://www.amazon.com/Even-Worse-Weird-Al-Yankovic/dp/B00000HZYJ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1282936312&sr=1–1

 Hawaii Five O – Gary Hoey

http://www.amazon.com/Monster-Surf-Gary-Hoey/dp/B0009IOR9I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1282936340&sr=1–1

 Four Sticks — Rollins Band

http://www.amazon.com/Encomium-Tribute-Zeppelin-Various-Artists/dp/B000002J3Y/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1282936475&sr=8–1-catcorr

Four Year Strong – Love Song

http://www.amazon.com/Punk-Goes-Pop-Volume-Two/dp/B001UF36S2/ref=sr_shvl_album_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1282936439&sr=301–1

 Aven­ged Seven­fold – Paranoid

http://www.amazon.com/Paranoid/dp/B001UERWNS/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1282936400&sr=8–1-catcorr

 Three’s Com­pany —  Richard Cheese

http://www.amazon.com/Dick-at-Nite-Richard-Cheese/dp/B000WS4PGA/ref=sr_1_9?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1282936366&sr=1–9

Today in History — Solar Car

Tuesday, August 31st, 2010

Today in 1955 the 1st sun-powered auto­mo­bile was demons­tra­ted ( Chi­cago, Ill)

To cele­brate this shi­ning achie­ve­ment, here’s today’s playlist:

Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden

Island in the Sun – Weezer

Sunshine of your Love – Clap­ton (But I really like the ver­sion by Fudge Tunnel)

Wal­king on Sunshine – Katrina and the Waves

Sun – They Might Be Giants

Don’t let the sun go down on me – Roger Daltry (From the Lost Boys Soundtrack)

62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards.….I guess.

Monday, August 30th, 2010

As I sat with my beau­ti­ful wife watching the Pri­me­time Emmy Awards last night, they star­ted announ­cing TV shows I was not aware of.  There were cate­go­ries where the shows in con­ten­tion I’ve never seen and some I’ve never even heard of. 

I thought I was a TV jun­kie, but it appears that I must not be.  It may be because I don’t watch anything serious or in any way dra­ma­tic.  I con­sume the junk food of TV broad­cas­ting.  It’s pro­bably rot­ted my brain enough so I can’t even recog­nize those other TV shows.  Maybe I’m TV Disabled? 

OK, the com­mer­cials are almost over.  Back to the Dirty jobs marathon.

Today in History August 30th

Monday, August 30th, 2010

Today in 1930 William H Taft 27th US Pre­si­dent, died. 

Besi­des being the only per­son to be Pre­si­dent of the US and then later Chief Jus­tice, William Howard Taft was a large man, so to cele­brate his enor­mous con­tri­bu­tion to society, here’s today’s Playlist:

 Fat – Weird Al

He’s Ain’t  Heavy, He’s my brother – Neil Dia­mond or the Hollies

Roc­ka­fe­ller Skank – Fat­boy Slim

Baby Got Back – Sir Mixa­lot or Jonathan Coulton

Thick n’ Thin – The Black Crowes

Livin Large – L7

Happy being Fat – Carole King

Teenage Driving. OOOF!

Wednesday, August 18th, 2010

It was get­ting dark that Fri­day night when I got a phone call, Mark, our 15 year old was in a small acci­dent.  He hit a curb and blew a tire, and, oh yeah, got a tic­ket for exhi­bi­tion dri­ving.  Whoa whoa whoa!  What?  Yeah a tic­ket for exhi­bi­tion driving. 

What came next was pretty typi­cal for a situa­tion like this, my wife and I were disap­poin­ted and Mark was a little ratt­led.  Thank­fully we had a con­tract I drew up prior to him get­ting his license just a few weeks ago.  It details punish­ments as agreed upon by both us and Mark and out­li­nes what he is res­pon­si­ble for. 

Since the “mishap”, I’ve been gree­ted by so many parents who chuc­kle, slap me on the back and say “Wel­come to the club” and “All kids at this age go through this”.  Really?  EVERY child does?  I guess I will have to come up with a plan for Mark’s two youn­ger sis­ters.  Here’s what I have so far.

Step 1.  Don’t allow them to get a driver’s Per­mit until they are at least 27. 

That’s all I have right now.

Today in history-Canoe!

Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010

Today in 1860, the Ame­ri­can Canoe Asso­cia­tion was foun­ded at Lake George NY.  To cele­brate canoes, here’s today’s playlist:

I’m On a Boat – Lonely Island

Banana Boat Song – Harry Belafonte

Michael, Row the Boat Ashore – The Beach Boys

Theme From Love Boat

Come On Down to My Boat – Every Mother’s Son

Rock the Boat – Hues Corporation

This Day In History

Thursday, July 15th, 2010

Today in 1869 Mar­ga­rine was paten­ted in Paris, for use by French Navy.  To so cele­brate all things sprea­da­ble, here’s today’s playlist:

Pop­corn by Hot But­ter
Make it with you – Bread
Lady Mar­ma­lade – Chris­tina Agui­lera, Lil’ Kim, Mya, Pink, etc)
Black — Pearl Jam
Three Little Pigs — Green Jelly
Mar­ga­rine — Sad­gasm (from the Simpsons)

The Red Wild Show is HERE!!!

Thursday, July 8th, 2010

It was a twin­kle in the eye just months ago and now it’s a huge glassy eye.

Mr. Scott “Ava­tar” Wild and Me, Brian “Oil Pan” Matthews will meet for the third time ever and  create utter chaos and con­fu­sion.  It will be a great time. 

The Red Wild Show pre­miers today at 4pm

You can lis­ten by going to http://www.urlradio.net and clic­king on “Lis­ten” or just go here:

http://theurlradio.com/listen/

There will be talks of con­tests, inter­net good­ness, ques­tions and ans­wers, and maybe some Bra­zi­llian throat music.  Never know!

Check out http://www.redwildshow.com if you have nothing else bet­ter to do.  I dare you.

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The July 4th Curse

Sunday, July 4th, 2010

For those of you who don’t keep up with Ame­rica, July Fourth is a big thing here because that’s the day the Dec­la­ra­tion of Inde­pen­dence was sig­ned in 1776, effec­ti­vely crea­ting the U.S. (OK, in rea­lity the Dec­la­ra­tion was likely sig­ned on a later date and in inter­vals, but kee­ping it to just the one day saves a lot on fireworks).

So it’s one of those “more iro­nic than weird” coin­ci­den­ces that one of the foun­ding fathers and second Pre­si­dent of the Uni­ted Sta­tes, John Adams, met his maker on July 4, 1826: 50 years to the day after Ame­rica was born.

Where it Gets Weird:

Right before John Adams died, he mut­te­red, “Tho­mas Jef­fer­son sur­vi­ves,” since the two enjo­yed a bit of a bro­mance in the twi­light of their lives (Jef­fer­son of course taking the White House right after Adams).

Howe­ver, little did the Adams’s (or the country) know, Jef­fer­son had just died a few hours prior, also on the fif­tieth anni­ver­sary of Ame­ri­can independence.

We admit that having just one of these men die on July 4, 1826 as oppo­sed to any of the 18,261 other days after sig­ning the Dec­la­ra­tion is kinda weird, but having both these men die on this day?

Where it Gets Even Weirder:

So, two of the nation’s first three pre­si­dents died on the same day. So by our cal­cu­la­tions, it’d be like a thou­sand pre­si­dents before you’d have another die on the Fourth of July.

Or, you know, two. Our fifth Pre­si­dent, James Mon­roe, died on July 4, 1831. Yep, three of our first five Pre­si­dents died on Inde­pen­dence Day.

While we’re on the July 4th thing, can we also throw in the Battle of Gettys­burg, the lar­gest and most pivo­tal battle in the Civil War, a day that deter­mi­ned the fate of the nation Adams and Jef­fer­son hel­ped create? It ended on July 4, 1863.

And that vic­tory was cru­cial for the Union for­ces because, in a com­ple­tely unre­la­ted battle, Union Gene­ral Ulys­ses S. Grant’s six-month cam­paign against Vicks­burg, Mis­sis­sippi finally ended in the city’s uncon­di­tio­nal surrender.

Also on July Fourth.

By the way, we said July Fourth was a big deal here, that may not go for pla­ces like Vicks­burg, who didn’t cele­brate it as a holi­day until after World War II. Pos­sibly because they were still bit­ter over the Civil War thing, or because they’re just worried that the ven­ge­ful July 4 spi­rit will return to take out another president.

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