Archive for the ‘Melt your face off’ CategoryTop 8 Scout Badges you should never earnThursday, September 9th, 2010Top 10 ways to know if your teacher is totally nutsWednesday, September 8th, 2010Top 10 ways to know if your teacher is totally nuts: 10. On the first day of school, he tells you to sit in order of IQ highest to lowest. 9. He eats only apples and gets cranky when you don’t bring him one. 8. He spent all summer whittling you desks. 7. The crayons are missing and his lips are multicolored. 6. Your first assignment is to put a first grader in a sleeper hold. 5. He’s barefoot and hopped up on dry erase markers. 4. He insists you call him “Starbright, the Ethereal Falcon”. 3. He communicates through a series of clicks and whistles. 2. “The Pledge of Allegiance” sounds more like “Mary Had a Little Lamb”. 1. He has claimed the lunchroom by urinating in the corners. Today in History — BlondieWednesday, September 8th, 2010Today in 1930 was the 1st appearance of the comic strip “Blondie”. To celebrate Dagwood’s better half, here’s today’s playlist: Suicide Blonde – INXS Rapture – Blondie What’s Up – 4 Non Blondes Supernatural Blonde – Marvelous 3 Platinum Blonde – No Doubt Just like a Woman – Bob Dylan (From Blonde on Blonde) Today in History — Today Never Happened!Friday, September 3rd, 2010Today in 1752 –This day never happened nor the next 10 as England adopts the Gregorian Calendar. People riot thinking the government stole 11 days of their lives. To celebrate this misplacement of days here’s today’s iPod playlist: Eight days a Week – The Beatles Tuesday’s Gone – Lynrd Skynrd One Week – Barenaked Ladies Where have all the good times gone? — The Kinks Been Caught Stealin’ Jane’s Addiction Today in History — Carry a Big StickThursday, September 2nd, 2010Today in 1901 VP Theodore Roosevelt advises, “Speak softly & carry a big stick”. To celebrate this famous quote about big sticks, here’s today’s playlist for your iPod: Big Balls – AC/DC Big Me – Foo Fighters Mr. Big Stuff – Jean Knight Can’t Beat it with a Stick – Jackyl My Ding-a-ling – Chuck Berry Sledgehammer – Peter Gabriel Monster– Fred Schneider Big ten Inch record – Aerosmith Today in History — SpeedometerWednesday, September 1st, 2010Red Wild Show Playlist for the week of August 30thTuesday, August 31st, 2010Here’s the playlist commemorating the birth of the US Census Bureau * Sweet Dreams Are Made Of Seven nation Army http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT5eJwgAtvY * Seven Faces – California Dreamin http://sevenfacesmusic.com/bandbio.html My Hero Zero– The Lemonheads Three is a Magic Number — Blind Melon Six words long– Weird Al Hawaii Five O – Gary Hoey http://www.amazon.com/Monster-Surf-Gary-Hoey/dp/B0009IOR9I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1282936340&sr=1–1 Four Sticks — Rollins Band Four Year Strong – Love Song Avenged Sevenfold – Paranoid Three’s Company — Richard Cheese Today in History — Solar CarTuesday, August 31st, 2010Today in 1955 the 1st sun-powered automobile was demonstrated ( Chicago, Ill) To celebrate this shining achievement, here’s today’s playlist: Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden Island in the Sun – Weezer Sunshine of your Love – Clapton (But I really like the version by Fudge Tunnel) Walking on Sunshine – Katrina and the Waves Sun – They Might Be Giants Don’t let the sun go down on me – Roger Daltry (From the Lost Boys Soundtrack) 62nd Annual Primetime Emmy Awards.….I guess.Monday, August 30th, 2010As I sat with my beautiful wife watching the Primetime Emmy Awards last night, they started announcing TV shows I was not aware of. There were categories where the shows in contention I’ve never seen and some I’ve never even heard of. I thought I was a TV junkie, but it appears that I must not be. It may be because I don’t watch anything serious or in any way dramatic. I consume the junk food of TV broadcasting. It’s probably rotted my brain enough so I can’t even recognize those other TV shows. Maybe I’m TV Disabled? OK, the commercials are almost over. Back to the Dirty jobs marathon. Today in History August 30thMonday, August 30th, 2010Today in 1930 William H Taft 27th US President, died. Besides being the only person to be President of the US and then later Chief Justice, William Howard Taft was a large man, so to celebrate his enormous contribution to society, here’s today’s Playlist: Fat – Weird Al He’s Ain’t Heavy, He’s my brother – Neil Diamond or the Hollies Rockafeller Skank – Fatboy Slim Baby Got Back – Sir Mixalot or Jonathan Coulton Thick n’ Thin – The Black Crowes Livin Large – L7 Happy being Fat – Carole King Teenage Driving. OOOF!Wednesday, August 18th, 2010It was getting dark that Friday night when I got a phone call, Mark, our 15 year old was in a small accident. He hit a curb and blew a tire, and, oh yeah, got a ticket for exhibition driving. Whoa whoa whoa! What? Yeah a ticket for exhibition driving. What came next was pretty typical for a situation like this, my wife and I were disappointed and Mark was a little rattled. Thankfully we had a contract I drew up prior to him getting his license just a few weeks ago. It details punishments as agreed upon by both us and Mark and outlines what he is responsible for. Since the “mishap”, I’ve been greeted by so many parents who chuckle, slap me on the back and say “Welcome to the club” and “All kids at this age go through this”. Really? EVERY child does? I guess I will have to come up with a plan for Mark’s two younger sisters. Here’s what I have so far. Step 1. Don’t allow them to get a driver’s Permit until they are at least 27. That’s all I have right now. Today in history-Canoe!Tuesday, August 3rd, 2010Today in 1860, the American Canoe Association was founded at Lake George NY. To celebrate canoes, here’s today’s playlist: I’m On a Boat – Lonely Island Banana Boat Song – Harry Belafonte Michael, Row the Boat Ashore – The Beach Boys Theme From Love Boat Come On Down to My Boat – Every Mother’s Son Rock the Boat – Hues Corporation This Day In HistoryThursday, July 15th, 2010Today in 1869 Margarine was patented in Paris, for use by French Navy. To so celebrate all things spreadable, here’s today’s playlist: Popcorn by Hot Butter The Red Wild Show is HERE!!!Thursday, July 8th, 2010It was a twinkle in the eye just months ago and now it’s a huge glassy eye. Mr. Scott “Avatar” Wild and Me, Brian “Oil Pan” Matthews will meet for the third time ever and create utter chaos and confusion. It will be a great time. The Red Wild Show premiers today at 4pm You can listen by going to http://www.urlradio.net and clicking on “Listen” or just go here: http://theurlradio.com/listen/ There will be talks of contests, internet goodness, questions and answers, and maybe some Brazillian throat music. Never know! Check out http://www.redwildshow.com if you have nothing else better to do. I dare you. The July 4th CurseSunday, July 4th, 2010For those of you who don’t keep up with America, July Fourth is a big thing here because that’s the day the Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776, effectively creating the U.S. (OK, in reality the Declaration was likely signed on a later date and in intervals, but keeping it to just the one day saves a lot on fireworks). So it’s one of those “more ironic than weird” coincidences that one of the founding fathers and second President of the United States, John Adams, met his maker on July 4, 1826: 50 years to the day after America was born. Where it Gets Weird: Right before John Adams died, he muttered, “Thomas Jefferson survives,” since the two enjoyed a bit of a bromance in the twilight of their lives (Jefferson of course taking the White House right after Adams). However, little did the Adams’s (or the country) know, Jefferson had just died a few hours prior, also on the fiftieth anniversary of American independence. We admit that having just one of these men die on July 4, 1826 as opposed to any of the 18,261 other days after signing the Declaration is kinda weird, but having both these men die on this day? Where it Gets Even Weirder: So, two of the nation’s first three presidents died on the same day. So by our calculations, it’d be like a thousand presidents before you’d have another die on the Fourth of July. Or, you know, two. Our fifth President, James Monroe, died on July 4, 1831. Yep, three of our first five Presidents died on Independence Day. While we’re on the July 4th thing, can we also throw in the Battle of Gettysburg, the largest and most pivotal battle in the Civil War, a day that determined the fate of the nation Adams and Jefferson helped create? It ended on July 4, 1863. And that victory was crucial for the Union forces because, in a completely unrelated battle, Union General Ulysses S. Grant’s six-month campaign against Vicksburg, Mississippi finally ended in the city’s unconditional surrender. Also on July Fourth. By the way, we said July Fourth was a big deal here, that may not go for places like Vicksburg, who didn’t celebrate it as a holiday until after World War II. Possibly because they were still bitter over the Civil War thing, or because they’re just worried that the vengeful July 4 spirit will return to take out another president. |
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